The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the… (2024)

Antisocialite

25 reviews34 followers

December 4, 2013

My love for this book is a result of my lack of social skills. Much as I might try to generate conversation with strangers (and, occasionally, among friends) I usually just end up rambling awkwardly until uneasy silence takes over. So, at some point, I started employing zombies. As conversation topics, not servants. Though that would be cool.

"What would we do if we were attacked by zombies right now?" is an excellent way to get to know someone. Their willingness to participate in this line of thought with me is usually a pretty good indication that we can be friends. Plus, you get a sense of their attitudes, general knowledge, and strategizing capabilities. Is this someone you want on your side in a difficult situation? If not, why am I hanging around them, anyway?

One difficulty I've run into with this, though, is the question: What kind of zombie are we talking about here? The slow, shambling zombies of Romero? The fast-moving, rabid ones a la "28 Days Later"? Are they intelligent? Does their zombification come from biological, viral or demonic sources? Are they intelligent? What are their physical capabilities and/or limitations? To effectively plan, you need to know what you're up against.

Thankfully, The Zombie Survival Guide covers all of this and more: the appearance and symptoms of the Solanum virus, a history of recorded outbreaks, and information on what to do in a variety of likely scenarios. Weapons, tactics, how to prepare, even how to flee, should it become necessary.

Mario the lone bookwolf

805 reviews4,793 followers

September 10, 2022

This is one of the most important, at the same time underrated self-help and autodidactic books that should not be missing in any good library next to survival guides about blackouts, civil unrest, the collapse of civilizations, alien invasions, parents in law, and black Fridays. Although those get less and less dangerous thanks to online shopping, especially cyber Monday, consumerism, jay!

Just imagine the following.
You wake up, everything seems cool, there is just this unusual, extreme silence, interrupted by the moaning of a very strange animal. While drinking the first cup of coffee or booze, still drowsy until the drug kicks in, zombies can be seen from where you are standing at the window. So what do you do? Believe and hope that the few zombie movies gave you enough preparation? Well, they may have laughed at you, when you memorized the whole Zombie survival guide, but now you laugh at them. Cause now you know, how:

To amputate a bitten extremity, which highly depends on which zombie film you are in.
to deal with Postzombie traumatic stress disorder.
Zombies think (if) and feel (what). That gets especially important if some kind of left intelligence is discovered in one of the walking dead and the option of finding a cure becomes possible thanks to this anomaly.
And many more very useful and important things.

Specify the kind of apocalypse
It´s especially important to check in which kind of postapocalyptic setting you found yourself in. Is cannibalism already a thing and if yes, how accepted has it become in society? Of what kind are the zombies, more like the classic, slow, moaning ones or the tweaker style mad running ones with huge powers? Are they just zombified by natural causes or is there a bad necromancer, doing his voodoo in the background? Is the government your friend and wants to help or are they just herding up all humans because they know how big the outbreak really is and how many are already infected? Which sociological, psychological, logistical, and demagogic skills are needed to rebuild society as a mad cult with you as god-emperor in the center of it, and should your way to world domination be clean from zombality or the magic or biological weapon that caused the disaster integrated into your master plan to breed immortal Übersoldiers? Anticipatory and responsible planning is highly recommended. As soon as you have brainstormed the situation, focus especially on the chapters that deal with your unique situation.

Overthinking is key
No matter what problem or technical difficulty, this great adviser knows what to do. If someone has kids, family, or just a pet, it would be extremely reckless to be unprepared, to just watch The walking dead and play Resident Evil for preparation. What if there is no more electricity and you can´t watch the episode or play the level that showed the solution for your actual problem? Such as regularly going to screenings, paying your insurance, and going to the firing range to shoot at targets that move in a zombie-like manner and speed, it´s your duty for your beloved ones and your country to be reasonably prepared for this completely likely, anytime possible danger.

PS: Because of the great progress in biowarfare with the help of more and more sophisticated genetic enhancement tools, one should stop thinking that early warners such as the prepared reviewer are (too) bonkers. We will laugh about you all in our secure shelters and plan a new society while you get zombified or eaten alive! I can already hear the annoying knocking on the door and the "We were too stupid for proper preparation, please help, please let us in" screams. Sigh facepalm

Tropes show how literature is conceived and which mixture of elements makes works and genres unique:
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...

    horror humor-and-comedy

Kat Kennedy

475 reviews16.2k followers

December 4, 2013

This book is only really for those hardcore zombie enthusiasts.

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Your home should look like this

Unless you really, REALLY just love all things zombie, don't bother picking up this book.

I thought I loved zombies enough. I really did. Turns out I just don't cut the mustard.

This book is a detailed expose on Zombie anatomy, zombie weapons and zombie survival strategy.

My favourite part of zombie books, the part where people become zombie numnums, is unfortunately missing. And that's the thing. Is there anything that interesting about zombies if they're not eating your best friend and slowly breaking down your group morale? For me: no.

Another problem with this book is that it is incredibly region specific. Unless you live in Canada, North America or Mexico, a large portion of this book won't apply to you. Information about which specific guns kill zombies best is great but only for people who have ever seen a gun and can hope to do so again.

I've seen a real gun exactly once. Also, my survival options are different here in Australia then they are in America. America is a largish continent with over 200 million people in the northern part alone. Australia is a largish continent, slightly larger than North America and it has roughly 20 million people total. I'm fairly confident that I can slip off into the bush and go years without ever stumbling across a zombie.

Americans are in trouble and Japan is f*cked. Royally.

Still, the lack of guns thing sucks. Though thanks to this book I went and picked up a crowbar today and I feel a lot safer.

Still, it's not a book I'd ever pick up again and for the most part it didn't have a lot of chewy flesh to keep me interested for long.

    kat-s-book-reviews

Eric

19 reviews

January 17, 2008

"Yes Brooks, but what about?" is what I often found myself asking while perusing the Zombie Survival Guide. It's clear it is meant to be humorous. I first went looking for it in non-fiction, and was disappointed to find it in the Humor section. I spared the Barnes and Noble employee a lecture on the dangers of being woefully unprepared for the coming Zombiepocalypse. Brooks went to some trouble to make it appear as if he put plenty of thought and research into this, and that helps make the tongue-in-cheek tone really stick.
However, he could have done more both for humor's sake and those of us who take this so seriously our families try to medicate us. But what do they know? They'll be the first ones eaten, and I still won't take those pills... Anyway, I digress. He covers a remarkable amount of ground, but nothing really in any great detail. It reads more like an encyclopedia of random "stuff", rather than an actual useful resource. It gives me things to consider, but little usable field information beyond the initial seed idea. Some quips and pop culture references are funny, but we'll see who's laughing when facing a scenario he avoided by saying, "Science cannot explain..."
Areas which I found lacking included group composition and psychology, weaponry, viral epidemiology, and tactical organization. A Level III or higher outbreak requires tough choices I don't remember Brooks being ready to handle in regards to human group dynamics. He acknowledges the difficulties of human psychology, but really doesn't delve into any one of countless areas to address. How best do you deal with children who just slow you down and endanger the group? How do you contend with the fact that, in all likelihood given the stresses of the situation, members of the opposite sex will likely be snogging the daylights out of each other every semi-private moment? That leads to pregnant, and slower, more demanding, and more vulnerable party members. How does a party leader attempt to prevent or deal with the issue if it's too early to repopulate the world? Tough question, and one Brooks doesn't address that I remember.
Also the weaponry section is terribly lacking in specifics. Brooks does do something right in stressing hiding and stealth throughout, but when you have to fight, he only discusses a few ideas for arming yourself. What I REALLY think the book could have used was a region-specific common chambering guide. In former NATO-countries, even though the AR-15 or M-16 and variants may be lacking in reliability and zombie-clubbing prowess to the chunkier Kalashnikov and SKS variants, one hardly wants to find oneself carrying a 7.62 in a 5.56 world. Choose a regional weapon based on the ammunition you are likely to find available issued to your local police, military, and paramilitary forces. A large, convenient table would have been a nice addition. A discussion of crossbow draw-strength versus range to give people an idea what they'd have to contend with, but worth it given the excellence of the weapon as a silent, reusable option, would also have been nice.
I still feel I understand precious little about the virus itself. I wouldn't consider this an issue except for the implied knowledge Brooks has through his statements, discussion, and supposed historical outbreaks he mentions. Share more! How do we protect ourselves? Is there a practical way to intervene? What are the hazards and best ways to protect group members during what he refers to as "clean-up" following a battle? What are the possibilities and repercussions of mutation, considering this IS a virus, after all.
I won't get into the tactical sections other than to say most of his suggestions would require people so battle-hardened, cool, intelligent, and collected they would likely be able to develop better plans on the fly. This they would almost certainly have to do, given the changing nature of all battlefields, much less ones with very difficult undead enemies. Instead of trying to paint unrealistic scenarios, just cut these chapters short by saying, "Find fearless tactical geniuses, and go kill with them."
Don't get me wrong, I liked the book. He raises and discusses an issue few people are taking seriously enough. He glances over some good points. And he's somewhat funny in parts. He tries to deliver a compact but useful guide covering an entire world's worth of issues. However, the most damning thing I can say about the Guide is that, when the undead rise, the book is not something that will be in my pack when I start running. I would much rather save the valuable weight and space for a region-specific weapons guide, field first-aid manual, resource for local flora and fauna, or even just an extra few iodine tablets or strips of beef jerky.

P.S.- Yes, I get the joke. Do you get mine?

Jon Carroll Thomas

Author4 books5 followers

December 10, 2007

Max Brooks is a crazy man.

On the surface, this book functions as humor. What to do when zombies take over, that's fun, right?

What becomes obvious once you start reading it is that Brooks spent a lot of time thinking very seriously about this. And that's funny too. Part of what makes this book great is how humorless it is, even though you will find it in the humor section at the book store.

The more you read, the more you realize that Brooks has a very specific agenda in mind. He doesn't waste time comparing the different types of zombies from movies (i.e. fast zombies vs. romero zombies). He defines the threat in very specific terms with clearly defined rules. Through his no-nonsense shop talk and "historical" references, he hints at a parallel reality where zombies are a legitimate threat and you, the reader, should beware.

This is where you begin to doubt his sanity. His instructions are so specific and his accounts are so detailed that you become convinced that he takes his writing very seriously. He has created a authentic feeling, fictional world and you begin to wonder if he thinks he actually lives there.

As a humor book, it misses the mark. It’s just not that funny, at least not in the way other humor books are meant to be. ( take your Jeff Foxworthy, your Dilbert) If it is humor, it is way too dry or ironic to register with most people whose sense of irony is not as keenly developed as my own.

In order for this book to make sense, you should read it in one of two ways: either as a novel, or as I prefer, the ravings of a paranoid psychopath.

Spencer

39 reviews10 followers

January 3, 2011

It's a funny coincidence that I'm probably going to get killed by an angry, mindless mob for saying this, but allow me to be the only one with the guts to say that The Zombie Survival Guide is hugely overrated. As others have suggested, the angle is supposed to be that this is a fact-based, real-world take on what to do when the dead finally rise, but Brooks breaks out the "science still can't explain" card way too often for his premise to really work. Which is problematic because while the central concept is that it's all about bringing zombies into the real world and throwing out the silly notions hoisted on us by works of fiction, Brooks has, in all honesty, just created another zombie universe with its own silly inconsistencies. Likewise, the repetitive structure and obsession with ridiculous minutiae ("Shaolin spade," anybody?) both strain the authors credibility and push the limits of what's bearable to sift through outside of an owner's manual. Do I really need to know the difference between how to run from zombies in an SUV versus a Truck? No. The answer is no, I don't. The best, most readable part of the book is the chapter on recorded attacks, but that's because it reads much more like zombie fiction and that's exactly not what this is supposed to be. TZSG scores plenty of points for concept, attitude and design (the outbreak journal in the appendix is especially inspired), but as an actual book it borders on annoying and I couldn't wait for it to be over.

Kylie🐾

72 reviews50 followers

May 2, 2018

What can I say this book gives my life complete and utter meaning. It's so informative and precise. The illustrations are freaking amazing.
Max Brooks is a truly incredible author and he isn't afraid to go ... there.

The books makes me wanna get fit and buy all the equipment I need, and you know what I will. I mean we will never ever know what could happen in the future will we?
In one sense because of the movies, books and TV shows I really want a zombie outbreak, but on the other hand I am really a huge fan of The Walking Dead (I call them munchers). What I'm saying is I've seen Maggie's reaction to (MAJOR TWD SPOILERS!!!) Glenn's death and Rick's reaction to Lori's death and I could go on but then the entire 8 seasons will be spoilt for you guys. Yes in fantasy a zombie apocalypse would be awesome but in reality all the loss and pain would be too unbearable for anybody really. Any kind of apocalypse would be unbearable.

Anyway back to the book I find that a prison based camp would keep you safe for a while even so it's a pretty secure base. Personally I would set up base in a prison considering how secure it is or maybe an abandoned town where lots of people can come and stay safe (and unlike the walking dead there would be no cannibalism or governors) - I've got to stop with the walking dead.

If there was ever to be a zombie outbreak I'd rather have a full blown crew and struggle for food and resources than be on my own. I would man the bow and arrows of course.

I know it's fictional what I'm about to say but a book like this for vampires would be super.

What bothers me is the animals that would get killed, knowing my luck I'd be the first to die. Anyway this book is an incredible read and whether you are into zombies or possible dystopian futures you still need to read this book. It may save your life one day.

On a side note I am so buying this book.

    books-that-give-my-life-reason books-that-i-am-in-love-with dystopian-based-books

Peter Topside

Author4 books1,127 followers

August 17, 2020

I wasn't sure what to expect from this, at first. Certain genres, like zombies, are so overdone these days, that I figured it was going to be just a fun read, but nothing special. I was not at all prepared for the depth of each section. It was informative, innovative and a very enjoyable read. And nothing was overkill (No pun intended), but everything had a nice flow. I no longer am afraid of a zombie apocalypse, thanks to this book. Highly recommend!

Bella

115 reviews42 followers

February 26, 2018

I did not finish this one sadly :( While I enjoyed World War Z, this one was too bogged down in the weapons section. Perhaps I just wasn't in the mood for it. Great for detailed information on types of weapons and their uses though. I mean hell, I know an aluminum baseball bat isn't the greatest weapon now against a zombie after a couple of attacks.

seak

435 reviews471 followers

March 5, 2012

You ever find yourself thinking what you would do if a zombie suddenly came up the hill in front of you. Would you run and try to tell the world? Would you think its already too late and fend for yourself? Would you just go take care of the ghoul yourself?

These are the questions I kept asking myself, especially while listening to The Zombie Survival Guide late at night while driving up the hill to my apartment. Not a good idea if you don't want to really creep yourself out.

I figured zombies would be a good follow up to the vampires from Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. It was actually kind of funny since each book described historical events from the perspective of their particular ghoul. Both actually describe the disappearance of the colony at Roanoke Island to be from zombies/vampires respectively.

The Zombie Survival Guide is a manual for people to use to prepare for a zombie uprising. The premise of the book is that zombies are already common or at least known, but have yet to overrun humanity. Plus, they've been around for ages, it's just been a cover-up.

The Zombie Survival Guide is an insanely well thought out book. Brooks really mapped out all the possibilities of a zombie uprising and prepares the reader for every contingency. Here's just a taste (from the blurb):

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

The book is divided into different sections that detail everything from what to do on the run to how to organize and attack. There's even a section on recorded attacks throughout history (as described a bit above).

One of my favorite sections was about weapons use. He describes a large array of weapons detailing which work well against zombies. The problem is that they can only be "killed" by head shots so he'll often go into popular movies and say why those instruments will or will not work.

For instance, he says that a chainsaw that you always see in the movies is one of the worst weapons because it's not only extremely heavy, but it's gas-powered. This means it probably won't last you very long especially if you're trying to survive for more than a couple days. On the other hand, a Shaolin Spade is one of the best weapons you can use because it is light and long enough to keep you safe.

When Should You Read The Zombie Survival Guide?

While The Zombie Survival Guide was entertaining and fun, it's still a guidebook. There's no story arc and there are plenty of lists, but of course this is exactly what's promised. If anything, The Zombie Survival Guide was a really good set up for Brooks' World War Z and I'm really excited to see how that plays out, especially in light of what I've learned about Zombie survival.

3 out of 5 Stars (Liked it)

    2010

Mike (the Paladin)

3,147 reviews1,935 followers

March 9, 2024

Having learned how to survive a horror movie (see my review of that book for further details) I set out to arm myself against supernatural, unnatural, cursed, undead, and other threats.

This will be an invaluable resource in the case of Zombie infestation and plague (they [zombies that is] seem to be spreading from what I can tell). The whole "zombie plague" thing seems to have been unheard of before video games it seems to me. Now what with "World-War Z", Resident Evil....The Evil dead it's showing up everywhere. I'm not sure how instrumental Bruce Campbell is in all this but maybe it should be looked into.

Anyway, the book in question will certainly be useful in the case of plague zombies giving a guide to tactics, and supplies. This of course includes lists of weapons, those you would need to obtain and items found around the house (not too bad...experience will of course give you ideas on how to use things not listed here, types of supplies to stock pile, defensive ideas for different buildings all here).

If you are looking for some type of undead infestation or other supernatural/extra-natural happening, you might want to add this to your library...and also pick up a 12 gauge just to be safe. Well, unless you know a good movie hero you can count on...but that's probably a long shot?

Now the only draw back here of course is that this book concentrates largely on only one type of zombie and ignores other forms of zombie and of course any other form of undead altogether. Still an interesting read...and you'll probably be glad you have it on hand should an infestation take place in your home town... It's all we have at least till the guides for fighting vampires, werewolves, ghouls and so on are published.

Cori

906 reviews179 followers

October 30, 2020

If prepping and zombies are your vibe, this book is for you. I feel thoroughly prepared to tackle anything The Real Life Walking Dead throws my way now.

Be warned, this book reads like a survival guide. This is not a quippy title for a plot driven work of fiction. Therefore, some of the material starts to feel a little list-like and repetitive. Reading this book is likely better in doses for most people rather than a one-sit approach. Aaaand sometimes Brooks can contradict himself a smidge, but that was few and far between.

One more interesting tidbit, if you're thinking about writing a zombie novel, you may want to grab this one and read it! Some of the ideas in it are thought-provoking creatively.

I'd rate this a PG-13 for mention of gore and violence.

    halloween-reads post-apocalyptic writing-research

Josh

32 reviews102 followers

October 17, 2007

If you’ve ever fantasized about being the last person on Earth, barricaded in some remote makeshift fortress against an unnamable evil that even now encroaches your perimeter … well, maybe you’re the kind of person that should keep this book on their nightstand.

The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks (yes, son of Mel Brooks and Ann Bancroft) is strangely informative and darkly satirical. Brooks writes with his tongue planted so firmly in his check that he risks a nasty bruise. I hesitate to even call the book a satire, since nowhere between the covers is a single joke. Not once while reading is there a hint of laughter. It takes itself deadly serious – and that’s what’s so funny.

But to explain why The Zombie Survival Guide is more to me than merely a plotless procedural on the dos and don’ts of undead apocalypse, I’ll have to tell you a bit about my own experience with these flesh-eating corpses.

The first time I saw a zombie was probably around the age of ten, when I accompanied my dad to a poker game. As the adults played, we kids were cordoned off into the TV room where we usually popped in a video and zoned out until our parents were broke enough to want to head home. On this particular night the movie was Return of the Living Dead. I honestly don’t recall being so scared in my entire life. The experience lingered with me for years. Now older and wiser, I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I may have been emotionally scarred by such a silly, campy flick, but I was already something of a twitchy kid, and thereafter, the dark corners of our house grew a little darker, feelings of being watched a little more intense, and the eyes printed on the covers of magazines would watch me from their racks as I passed by. If the zombies’ goal was to get my brain, they certainly succeeded.

As with most childhood fears, I grew out of it. But years later, around the time I graduated college, the Zombie took on a whole new meaning for me. For some reason I’ve yet to pin down, flesh-eating ghouls began invading my dreams. Before, my stress induced REM involved having my ability to run or lift or push impeded by an unseen force - typical Freudian stuff – but now I found myself hunted by throngs of the dead.

It’s a lot like that classic nightmare of delivering an important speech in front of a large audience of peers only to realize you’re naked … and that your audience is trying to eat you.

Terrifying though the dreams may be, upon waking up I think they’re fantastic. I’ve come up with story scenarios in my sleep I would never have imagined while awake. Just the same, some weeks the dreams make sleep difficult. (In fact, what prompted me to write this review so long after having read the book was a dream last night where I was trapped in a barn while the reanimated bodies of the farmer and his family banged on the doors outside).

Since drawn to Zombie fiction, I picked up a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide and was enthralled by the academic delivery on what weapons to use, what environments to seek or avoid, and the history of the walking dead. The dreams, surprisingly, started to subside or, when they did occur, were more controllable.

While the idea of fighting zombies is an enticing fantasy to most of us, we still know that they do not exist. At night, however, these creatures are as real to me as anything else. In these situations, The Zombie Survival Guide is more than a fun exercise in what-ifs, it becomes practical, useful information.

Thanks, Max.

Eliza

34 reviews20 followers

July 6, 2008

I started this book because I read World War Z and enjoyed it, for some value of enjoyed which also includes being seriously freaked out. This book further cemented my freaked-outedness. I now recognise that my home is inadequate protection against the zombie menace, that not only do I not have any sort of weapon handy which could decapitate without putting me in harm's way but even if I did I would have no skills to use it, and that I am not fully prepared for even a level-1 situation were it to occur near me.

Plus I thought I saw a zombie the other day. This guy was walking down the street and I swear he looked like one. Damn you, Max Brooks. Damn you.

Brendan

679 reviews

October 3, 2010

I didn't like this book from the beginning, which is sad because I was so optimistic about the humor of it. The major problem is that the premises the author puts forth fall to pieces when given even the smallest amount of critical analysis. Why does the book hold a rating just under 4? Because too many fans can recognize an exciting concept, but can't see past that to the poor implementation. Yes, it's a zombie survival guide. Whoopdedoo. It's also boring as anything to read, needlessly filled with under-researched "facts", and a poor attempt at humor. Yes, I understand that it is supposed to be a joke, but jokes are supposed to be funny and this book misses the mark. Much like the novel "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" (published after this book by a different author), the joke lies in the title and as such is amusing. However, the humor ends shortly thereafter and leaves the reader with a 200+ page book trying to prolong a joke that has already gotten it's laughs. And yes, I think way too highly of myself and my opinions.

Hippo dari Hongkong

357 reviews188 followers

November 23, 2008

Buku ini ternyata secara tak terduga sukses menyalip ditikungan si Becky yang lagi belanja dan petualangan William of Baskerville di sebuah biara Benediktian. Oke, ada yang udah nonton film2nya Leslie Nielsen? itu tuh, aki2 ubanan yang maen di film parodi Dracula, trilogi Naked Gun, Airplane, Scary Movie dll. Gayanya khas banget, dia ngelawak dengan gaya yang serius, seakan-akan dia tidak sadar kalo lagi ngelawak dan gak sadar kalo penonton tertawa terbahak-bahak. Nah seperti itulah Max Brooks menyajikan buku ini. Gue ngakak abis sekaligus merinding pas beres bacanya (bener kagak ya cerita dia?). Sebaliknya, jika lo sejak awal menganggap buku ini sebagai buku humor, justru kesan garingnya yang akan terasa. Bingung ya? :-p

Gue sempet mikir kalo si Max Brooks ini keknya bener2 gak ada kerjaan ampe sempet2nya bikin buku ini. Buku yang memberikan petunjuk lengkap dan menyeluruh tentang cara2 membasmi zombie, senjata yang diperlukan, cara bertahan, cara menyerang zombie dll. Sepertinya dia mewarisi gen sinting ini dari Mel Brooks; bapaknya yang sering bikin film2 parodi sinting bin kocak kek Robin Hood: Men in thights, Dracula: Dead and Loving It dll. Hmm..Like father like son, hehehehe

tapi zombie yang diceritakan si Brooks disini ialah zombie yang mirip di film2nya George Romero yaitu zombie yang lamban dan berjalan terseret-seret (satu langkah tiap 1.5 detik). Timbul pertanyaan; gimana kalo model zombie-nya kek di film 28 Days Later/28 Weeks Later? pan disana mah zombie-nya bisa lari, bisa manjat, dengan kata lain zombie yang lincah. Wah berabe kalo gini. Masalahnya sejak sebelom masuk TK ampe SMA kalo lagi olahraga balap lari gue pasti ada di urutan buncit. *ngusap2 perut* cilaka pan kalo gue dikejar zombie yang dulunya mantan sprinter olimpiade. *manyun*

Trus gimana kalo bumi bener2 diserang zombie? Sederhana saja, lo akan bersyukur karena sudah membaca buku ini ato lo akan menyesal habis2an karena gak baca buku ini. The choice is yours:-p tapi jangan takut, gue siap membantu koq, kumpul aja di rumah gue kalo zombie sudah mengepung bumi (khusus wilayah jabodetabek anda bisa menghubungi James, wakaka) Gue bakal ngasi tips2 buat ngebasmi zombie2 ini.

Oke, bila lo udah dalam situasi dikepung zombie, Remember this!
SURVIVAL is the key word to remember-not victory, not conquest, just SURVIVAL!

*berdiri di atas genteng => tempat aman dari jangkauan zombie*
OK people! just follow me and repeat after me if you want to be alive!
"I will not be their victim! I will survive!"
"I WILL SURVIVE!!! I WILL SURVIVE!!!

*joget2 diatas genteng nyanyi lagu disko jadul Gloria Gaynor~I Will Survive*
*ni lagu coco*k banget buat ngeledek zombie yang lagi kelaparan*
ini salah satu tips penting yang ada dibuku kalo lo dikepung zombie ==> Remain Entertained!
oke.. zombie bau bin jelek yang dipojokan sanaaa! ikut goyang yaaaaaaaa....

First I was afraid,I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong!I learned how to carry on
and so you're back,from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I WILL SURVIVE
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I WILL SURVIVE!!!
Hey.. Hey..

weeeek.. weeeeek... *melet ke kawanan zombie di bawah genteng*
udah ah, emang gue pikirin kalo dunia diserbu zombie.. ekekekeke
Yah.. beginilah kalo orang sinting baca buku yang gak kalah sinting :))

PS I: Many thanks to James, tar kapan2 kita koordinasi yak kalo terjadi wabah Solanum skala 3
PS II : yang minjem koleksi film2 zombie gue! wooiii! balikiiiiin! pengen nonton lage neh

    all-time-favorit book-that-make-me-laugh fantasy

Gloria Mundi

132 reviews83 followers

July 27, 2012

The End of The World. Predicted, feared and keenly awaited by certain elements throughout human history. But the Big Bad that will swiftly dispatch us all to hell in a handbasket remains hotly debated. Nuclear war, comets and asteroids, the sun going nova, God smiting us, the large hard-on collider creating a black whole etc. etc. are all potential causes. So why not zombies. You know it makes sense.

So, if you want to survive the rising of the eeeeevil dead, you need to follow the following simple rules:

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the… (16)

1. Prepare in advance. Start stockpiling food, fuel and weapons, exercising and preparing your safe haven now, before it is too late. You may consider joining a dedicated group such as http://zombiehunters.org or you could always get a job at some secret military bunker where you could hide out, should things get nasty.

2. Don't panic. Zombies are slow shuffling and brainless. So use your head and run.

3. Travel light. You don't want baggage to be slowing you down.

4. The only way to kill a zombie is to destroy their brain. Use weapons that do not need ammo. One of the most effective weapons against a zombie is one of these babies:

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the… (17)

5. Shave your head and wear tight clothes that don't restrict movement. You don't want a zombie grabbing on to your luscious mane or voluminous pants.

6. Stockpile your supplies on the upper floor(s) and destroy the stairs. Zombies cannot climb or use tools and so won't be able to reach you above ground.

7. Forget about cars, use a motorcycle or, even better, a mountain bike (won't run out of fuel). You won't get stuck in massive traffik tail backs or behind abandoned cars that way.

8. Do not be a hero and go back for those left behind. Anyone who has been bitten by a zombie (including your family and friends) is a direct threat to you – kill them before they kill you.

9. DO NOT nuke them. The last thing you want is radioactive zombies.

10. Best to avoid churches and hospitals which will get overcrouded in a zombie apocalypse scenario. Warehouses and offshore oil rigs are ideal places to hole up. Generally, stay away from urban areas and, if it starts looking like the world is well and truly f*cked, head with your team of trusty survivors as far away from civilisation as possible and start your own new world.

You may also wish to keep this note on your person for reference:

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the… (18)

Apparently, there are alternative survival guides for zombies but I really can't imagine what they could contain apart from the following two simple rules:

1. Eat brains.
2. Wear a helmet and neck protector.

Up until this book, I have had very little zombie interaction. The sum of my experience with the undead menace amounted to MJ's Thriller video, the British flick Shaun of the Dead and the first 10 or so pages of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. So, I thought, what better way to broaden my horizons than to read the Zombie Survival Guide.

Well, I did enjoy this book to begin with. Max Brooks takes a very thorough approach to survival in a world over-run by zombies and even gives illustrative "historical" examples of zombie outbreaks, which makes it all the more funny.

The two main problems for me, however were that, first, this book was too long. It went on and on and on long after the joke had stopped being funny with its endless lists and it was repetitive. By about page 150, I had lost all enthusiasm and was skimming paragraphs, pages and even whole sections.

And secondly, rather than cataloguing and dealing with all possible types of zombie that one might encounter, Brooks takes the approach of defining the type of zombie that exists in his world and the possibility of any other type arising is never considered. Brooks' Zombies are people infected by a Solanum virus who die and are then re-animated after death as slowly limping mindless monsters with an unquenchable hunger for human flesh. This is fine but I would have liked at least some mention of other types of zombies documented in popular culture and ways of dealing with them.

Oh, and one last thing:

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the… (19)

I couldn't resist.

    zombies-rise-of-the-evil-dead

Stephen

1,516 reviews11.7k followers

June 25, 2010

3.0 to 3.5 stars. The premise behind this book is great and I really enjoyed the format of an actual "survival guide" for battling zombies. That said, I was probably going to give this book 3 stars except that the last 50 pages were able to secure the book a 4 star rating. These last 50+ pages were a series of "actual" historic accounts of zombie attacks dating back to 60,000 B.C.. These accounts were a ton of fun and showed the spark of brilliance that would make Max Brook's next book, World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, the best Zombie book ever written and one of my "All Time Favorite" novels.

    dead-heads horror-camp

Bibiana

132 reviews84 followers

October 27, 2017

Este es un libro súper entretenido y diferente. Te dejas llevar por él, y aunque sea una guía para cuando llegue la Apocalipsis zombie, de verdad te lo crees y quieres llevar a cabo todos los consejos. Además de toda la película que te montas en tu cabeza sobre qué harías tú mismo en una situación así.

Quizá me cojeó un poco al final, cuando añade historias sobre vivencias de gente. Está súper bien hecho, pero a mí me resultó algo denso.

Himanshu Karmacharya

1,029 reviews108 followers

June 21, 2021

Sometimes, a book grasps your attention just because of its interesting title. Such was the case here; I was intrigued by the book's title, unfortunately, I didn't find the content to be as great as I expected.

The book starts off fine, with the author guiding the readers on what to do and what not to do on a "seemingly impossible" zombie apocalypse. He points out many clichés seen in zombie movies, and it's interesting how he has presented the Solanum virus in a "scientific" way.

However, once the information part on the fictional virus stops, and the survival part begins, the book starts to get repetitive and boring. Again and again, the same things are repeated such that reading the book seems tedious and a chore.

Overall, this book is recommended only to hardcore zombie enthusiasts, but it's still unlikely that they will enjoy the entirety of the book.

    2021 zombies

Kimberley doruyter

877 reviews91 followers

September 24, 2017

i can't take it seriously and even if i did it would only help if i lived in the us.
the best part of the whole book is the historical stories just enough facts ot almost make you believe.

Katie (Kitkatscanread)

720 reviews164 followers

October 2, 2015

Actual rating : 4.5 stars

Really liked this book.
Great for fans of the walking dead.
I feel ready for a Zombie Apocalypse now haha.

Cara

91 reviews30 followers

August 21, 2012

Half realistic survival guide (with a zombie twist), half fictional accounts of zombie outbreaks, this book is a mixed bag.

For someone already as paranoid as myself, it's fairly depressing to have it hammered home just how much in the way of resources you need to truly be prepared for the end of the world. Just bear that in mind before you pick this book up if you have a tendency to fret over whether or not your basem*nt of canned food will be enough to see you through - it won't. The survival section is definitely aimed at those zombie fans who, however much they may laugh it off when ribbed about it, deep down have a genuine fear of an undead uprising. Whilst I found a lot of useful survival info here, it did get a little dry in terms of reading material.

The latter section, accounting for around one quarter of the book, is an interesting and extremely realistic account of various 'recorded attacks' throughout history, dating all the way from 60,000BC to 2002AD. Brooks touches on so many unique situations and strategies to whuch you wish he had devoted more than half or one page tidbits - which is when you close the book and reach over for World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War. It can be read as an introduction to the detail and realism that Brooks would perfect in this later work.

Overall, a good addition to any die-hard zombie fan's bookshelf, but not for those looking for either blood & guts type action, or a spoof.

    2012 zombies

Trin

1,962 reviews610 followers

July 17, 2008

There seems to be some disagreement as to whether this is a humor or a horror book. It was marketed as the former, but I actually think it’s more effective as the latter. If it’s a humor book, it’s strictly one-note—survival guides expect you to be ridiculously over-prepared, haha! As a horror book—even keeping in mind its goofier moments—it really gets under your skin, makes you reassess your surroundings and your safety in ways, I think, few monster stories do.

It’s also interesting to look at this book as Brooks’ warm-up exercise for World War Z: he’s laying out the rules of his universe here, getting a feel for it. But this book, like I said, doesn’t quite know what it wants to be. World War Z knows. And when it tells you, you don’t forget.

    american-lit apocafic horror

Justyna

148 reviews152 followers

May 6, 2011

Being that I believe there will, one day, be a zombie apocalypse, I find it pertinent to be informed and well-prepared. Reading this book gives you the sense that you will be. It also makes you paranoid as hell. You'll begin to realize that there is no one perfect way to avoid/exterminate the zombies--there are pros and cons to every hideout, weapon, and means of travel. The trick is finding your strengths (and those of the people who will be part of your "team") and choosing the options that will suit you best. This is a great read and something every nerd will love.

    non-fiction

Anna (Bananas)

399 reviews

July 4, 2013

I chuckled quite a bit, so this book gets a solid three stars. IF the zombie apocalypse ever does arrive, this baby is getting bumped to five stars on GR stat - that is, if the power hasn't gone out yet.

My issue with the book is that it's a funnier concept than an actual read, because he takes himself so seriously. Really, he goes into extreme DETAIL about all the ways to kill zombies, which weapons to use, where to hide, how to defend versus attack. It's like reading a manual sometimes - wait, it IS a manual.

    zom-nom-nom

Simon

86 reviews30 followers

February 27, 2021

2,5*-3*

    2021-gelesen

KK

108 reviews

July 20, 2016

hmmmm interesantno štivo.

Iz nekog razloga nisu mogli da nadju znak "stepena" pa su gurali nule svuda gde je bio potreban. Postoji u wordu opcija add symbol ako niste znali….

U svakom slucaju najzanimljiviji delovi knjige su bili poredjenje raznolikog uružja i deo o dokumentovanim napadima kroz istoriju.

jaka trojka s moje strane.

    fiction

Víctor

265 reviews8 followers

May 12, 2018

El libro que todo el mundo debería tener en un apocalipsis zombi.

    fiction horror

Timothy Boyd

6,844 reviews45 followers

December 27, 2021

It always pays to be prepared, I learn that as a Boy Scout decades ago. This is a fun and entertaining read for that upcoming Zombie event. Recommended

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the… (2024)
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